Setting Boundaries From Peace & Power (vs ego)
Setting a boundary from your ego is not the same as doing so from a place of peace and power.
It’s an emotional reaction against the other person…a way to assert ego’s power as opposed to coming from your innate power of knowing your wholeness, worth, value, etc.
It often lacks compassion or respect for the other.
And can be a justification for being b*itchy or a jerk.
It’s often a protection mechanism to ensure you’re not taken advantage of by showing who’s boss.
It comes from control, force and dominance, instead of true power.
In boundary setting education there’s something taught about not being responsible for the other person’s reaction to your boundary.
This is true WHEN you come from peace and power as opposed to an emotional reaction against the other person.
There’s a responsibility on your part to come from peace and power (a non-emotionally charged state) before you can release how the boundary lands with the other person (the other person’s reaction to the boundary).
When you come from your ego, you’re responsible for the negative residue you leave with another (when you’re on a path of emotional and spiritual maturity).
Boundary teachings are often geared towards helping people pleasers (those who fear confrontation, someone being mad at or disappointed in them) speak up by teaching them to let go of the other person’s response.
This is a good thing for people pleasers because the fear of what other people think is the thing that needs to be moved through. (This should still be done from a place of peace and power vs an aggressive reaction).
However, if you’re not a people pleaser and you’re more apt to aggressively speak your mind (you have no fear of confrontation or what others think), this teaching can serve as a “get out of jail free” card when it comes to being aggressive and not needing to take responsibility for your aggressiveness towards another.
If you’re on a path of emotional and spiritual maturity (which you are, if you’re reading this message!), using this as a “get out of jail free” card is going in the opposite direction.
I just wanted to clarify this in this week’s message. 🙂
Also, The People Pleaser’s Guide To Reclaiming Your Personal Power is available for purchase if you desire more help in this area.
I have a second guide coming that will focus on those to who tend to react outwardly vs keeping it inside as people pleaser’s tend to do.
In either scenario, it’s about understanding our reactive nature (ego) in order to come from a greater place of peace and power.
I hope everyone enjoyed the solar eclipse yesterday! I was on the outer edge of the path of totality!
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
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