Are You Playing To Win or Not To Lose?
I was in a very activating 5 day masterclass hosted by Melanie Ann Layer last week where the entire class was framed around the following question:
“Am I playing to win or not to lose?”
And in deepening in this question, when it looks like you’re losing (movement towards your goals and desires does not appear to be unfolding in your direction)…
Are you still playing to win or are you safetying up, collapsing, taking yourself out of the game, etc.?
When it comes to backing the moves we make in life, faith is either there, in our belief in ourself and our belief in possibility, or it’s not and, instead, we’re unconsciously handing our power over to the results that immediately occur as evidence of what’s possible.
If we’re playing to win, the immediate results are not indicative of what is or isn’t possible; our energy is.
‘Playing to win” energy isn’t distracted by immediate results, because it’s oriented on winning, no matter the obstacles.
It’s already “claimed” it’s place in winning.
But so often, we unconsciously shrink in response to the immediate results (assuming they’re a bit lackluster in the beginning) thinking they’re evidence of our limits, instead of standing in our power by “claiming our place” in whatever it is we desire to create for ourselves.
I’ve done this when it comes to believing in the tangible results I’m capable of creating through the messages I share.
I’ve never lost faith in the energetic impact I’m creating, but I have shrunk my outer vision to fit the results I’m experiencing.
I didn’t fall into a depression, wondering what was wrong with me because I don’t hold a conditioned view of failure..
…but my energy around making business moves unconsciously shifted from “playing to win” to “playing not to lose” (i.e., safetying up by limiting financial commitments around new business moves).
I focused on the intangible impact I was energetically contributing to through my belief in playing my role in the collective awakening (and I continued to be grateful for the tangible results/feedback I received), but I let go of chasing a bigger vision than I was currently experiencing.
On one hand, this is peaceful. Let go of what hurts when it doesn’t occur. Accept what is.
But what if the avoidance of pain was the underlying reason for safetying up versus it truly being a higher spiritual concept around acceptance?
Disappointment is painful. Especially when we feel at its mercy.
But what if it was really about learning how to hold disappointment without contracting?
What if it was about expanding through the ability to hold both disappointment and a continued belief in possibility (where disappointment doesn’t have to limit what is still possible)?
Truly holding disappointment is being able to accept what is (the experience of disappointment) without recoiling from it (hiding, avoiding, making it mean something about us and what’s possible, etc.).
It’s to accept our experience of it without closing our heart from future moves that may very well include disappointment.
It’s to stay open, alive and activated when it comes to the desires of our heart even when disappointment occurs.
It’s to keep playing to win (however you define “winning” for yourself), no matter what occurs.
It’s to look for where we need to advance our skills in our emotional intelligence (ability to hold disappointment) and in honing our craft (as well as any other skills relevant to creating what we desire) so we continue to elevate our capacity to rise above the current level we’re playing in.
It’s to know there are levels to the “game of life” that require mastering certain skills (anchoring in “playing to win” energy is a developed skill for most), before moving onto the the next level of the game where these skills are foundational to the next set of challenges and skills that must be mastered.
I hope this encourages you to assess whether you’re playing to win or not to lose when it comes to the desires of your heart.
I also hope that it sheds some light on how to hold disappointment without losing your vision for what’s possible. This has been a huge insight for me.
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
P.S., The People Pleaser’s Guide To Reclaiming Your Personal Power is available HERE!
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