Your Primary Purpose Is Love
When I focus on my intention to be loving no matter what arises (an often, but not always, daily practice of getting centered and set for the day), it automatically brings to the surface incidents of being outside of this intention.
This is a good thing and not something to feel bad about.
Feeling bad about it only keeps you from looking (and the unconscious pattern continuing)…
..but an openness and willingness to look at the ways in which we fall outside of this intention are necessary to continually clear a path for love to move through us…
…where the ultimate soul goal is for love to flow without interval.
I don’t hold the bar to “be loving not matter what arises” and expect to be perfect.
Instead, I hold the intention with a readiness, openness and willingness to notice, own/take responsibility for and transform the places I’m out of alignment with this intention.
This process keeps me returning to and recommitting myself to my intention to be loving no matter what arises, while also continuously scanning for what needs to be looked at and addressed.
When I address what needs to be looked at, I have a number of tools available, depending on how identified I’ve become with the “unloving/reactive behavior”.
If I’m super identified with it (I believe the victim mentality is warranted and can’t yet see through it), I need a different set of tools than if I have enough space from the incident to see that it was simply a movement of my ego because of xyz.
Doing this process often is what gives you more space to work with.
You can still get identified with a victim mentality in the moment of reaction but you’re able to find your way to the spaciousness between the incident and being the greater observer of it much more quickly.
The ultimate goal is to live identified with the greater awareness versus being identified with ego and the multitude of ways it can feel hurt and become reactive. Again, this is a process.
Case in point: The other day I became reactive (because I was identified with my ego/victimhood) and it wobbled my normally grounded energy.
In the moment of reactivity, I unconsciously wanted to prove the “rightness” of my victimhood.
So I spiraled through a number subsequent reactions.
This only lasted about a minute but the deep identification occurred and the woundedness of victimhood was felt (it always is; it’s just not the only way to see a situation).
In this particular situation I felt a sense of rejection that ignited triggers around past rejections and simultaneously amplified limits on what I believed was possible. And it made me snappy. You know, because I was acting from a wounded place.
Depending on how much space you’re able to get around feeling triggered, different tools may be better suited.
If you’re new to taking the time to address your reactivity, you may feel stuck in that reactivity a lot longer before you create enough space to look back on the incident to better understand it.
Your reactivity could over take you for days, years, a lifetime if you never set the intention to begin understanding the roots of what occurred. (You’re here, so we know this isn’t the case for you)!
This is how unconsciousness continues on and on, ad nauseam.
It starts bouncing off other people’s unconsciousness, which creates dysfunction and highly toxic situations, environments and relationships.
You transform the unconsciousness for yourself and the people you interact with, the moment you’re willing to look at your reactivity and do something about it.
If you’re new to looking at the root cause of your triggers, you may need to journal out why you feel triggered to better understand its roots.
You may need to go through a process a re-writing a better story for yourself. This is still within the level of play that ego gets reactive. You’re just re-writing what you believe about your ego.
This is a fine stage and one most are operating from.
However, there comes a time when you’ve built up enough space and enough time feeling a connection to the greater awareness that you can simply look at the full play of what occurred and know it was because you temporarily became identified with ego and it’s wounded history.
And you simply let it go as a play you became temporarily identified with but you need not stay identified.
You don’t have to work on re-writing another, more positive story because you’re more interested in connecting with the free flow of love, however it desires to move, than adjusting your self-image to something you can more positively believe in.
Now if you’re reactivity affected someone else, this does’t absolve you from taking responsibility for any negative residue you may have left with them.
You take responsibility and you make amends. You apologize and you forgive yourself. And you begin again with your intention to be loving no matter what arises.
In the case I mentioned earlier, I was able to get space fairly quickly. And I was able to see the full play of the pattern that had unfolded without journaling it out.
I understood its roots and, in doing so, I dissolved my identification with feeling like a victim.
I returned to my intention to be loving no matter what arises by forgiving myself for temporarily believing in the woundedness of feeling hurt and spiraling into the other negative, limited thoughts.
And I began again.
It doesn’t matter where you are regarding what tools are most helpful.
What matters is your willingness to look at the reactivity that’s occurring and to begin addressing it ways that feel real and meaningful to you.
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
Subscribe to blog via email
