Setting Boundaries w/ Grace, Peace & Power
Guys, we need to talk about setting boundaries from a place of power versus a reaction against the pattern we don’t like…
My whole jam is about doing things from a place of spiritual and emotional maturity.
So when it comes to setting a boundary, it’s import to:
Have compassion for the other person’s unconsciousness (the pattern of behavior you’re unwilling to allow in your space), but be firm in setting a boundary against this unconscious pattern being dumped on you.
A compassionate stance allows you to accept where they are in their journey (the unconscious expression of a dysfunctional pattern) while simultaneously saying it’s not allowed in your personal space.
You’re not trying to change their behavior, but you are saying it’s not allowed in your personal space.
This is energetically different from attacking them for the behavior in an attempt to get them to change it.
The act of attack comes from your own unconsciousness, whereas compassionate understanding of their behavior comes from a more conscious place.
You still get to set a boundary against allowing the behavior in your personal space, but it’s done from a place of power instead of your own unconscious reaction against their unconscious behavior (which only compounds unconsciousness).
Being able to hold someone’s unconsciousness in compassionate acceptance without reacting against it is indicative of spiritual maturity and emotional intelligence.
The more we’re able to do this, the freer we become from the tentacles that try to bind us in frustration, resentment, bitterness, anger, etc.
Obviously, there is much more complexity involved in learning how to disentangle yourself from relational dynamics that you now realize require boundaries and/or require having challenging conversations to begin more consciously working with the other person on improving these dynamics.
I offer 1:1 coaching to help you work through things of this nature. (You can email me at shannacovey@gmail.com for more information).
This message was specifically geared towards the act of setting a boundary and doesn’t include all that’s involved in co-resolving the dynamic with the other person.
Mastering (or at least practicing) setting boundaries from a place of peace and power is a beautiful skill that will pay you dividends by saving you tons of frustration, resentment and bitterness from not being able to effectively set them.
I can support you in mastering this skill in my 1:1 coaching, where we’ll not only understand how to disentangle you from the patterns and thoughts that are currently keeping you from seeing where and why they’re needed, but we’ll also work on the skills needed to set them with grace, peace and power.
If this is something you’re struggling with and desire support, reach out and let’s work together.
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
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