“Are we just supposed to walk around loving everyone? I mean, aren’t there people who we should distance ourselves from as a matter of doing what’s best for our own growth?” a woman asked when I finished giving a talk this past weekend.

This question stems from a place of deep resistance to changing one’s current perspective of a particular person or situation that is causing them pain on some level. And, of course, this resistance is rooted in ego.

Ego equates extending love in situations like these as condoning something you disagree with, which creates an inner conflict between how you feel inside and the action you’d be taking outwardly. This inner dissonance also means that your outer action wouldn’t be backed by an energy of love. Instead, it would likely be soaked in resentment.

And it’s true; none of these actions would be based in love. In fact, they’re not doing either party any favors. In order to truly align with love, we’ve got to be willing to change our perspective of the original person or situation.

The reason we feel pain is because our personal ego is …

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