The Rollercoaster Ride of Walking Out On Faith

For the last few years, it has been my goal to live in alignment with the unfolding of God’s plan for my life. This, of course, always sounds much easier in theory than in application.  But, regardless, it has been my goal.

When Lindsey first emailed me back in April about coming down to visit her in Boquete, Panama, my heart raced with excitement in anticipation of the trip becoming a reality. In her email, she’d proposed that I come down and help her with her business and non-profit and that she’d help me organize opportunities to share A Call to the Heart.

It was a genius plan in terms of tying the trip to purposeful objectives. But as much as the trip made sense and felt exciting, I still wanted to make sure that it was aligned with where I was supposed to be, as a part of God’s divine plan for me.

We agreed not make a decision until a few unknown variables revealed themselves to determine if the trip was meant to happen or not. The rest of April passed, and then May, and before we knew it June was coming to a close. The plan was for me to come sometime before the close of the summer…

During this time, I stayed open to either outcome occurring and allowed the Plan to unfold as it was meant to. I honestly wasn’t sure if it was best for me to be in Panama or to stay Stateside, so I stayed in a state of surrender.

Just as June was beginning to come to a close, the biggest unknown variable became known, opening the door for me to come to Panama. I packed an extra 50 pound bag just for copies of my book and headed south, trusting that the doors would continue to open up.

The first week that I was in Panama, I didn’t sell a single book (granted, I hadn’t organized an opportunity to sell them). Regardless, I was starting to get nervous, wondering if I was indeed in alignment with God’s will. Had I misread the signs?

The next day I was set to have a table at the weekly market…my first opportunity to share A Call to the Heart with the local community. Even though I’d been in my head wondering if I was really in alignment with God’s plan, I set up my table at the market and opened myself to the opportunities that lay ahead…

After giving one particular lady the spiel on my book, she looked at me and said “I call bullshit on this”. In terms of a response to what I’m sharing, I understand that not everyone is in a place to receive it, but in terms of trying to assuage my fear that I may not be in alignment with God’s will—that felt like a slap in the face!

I took a deep breath to re-center myself, so that I wouldn’t be carrying the energy from that experience to my next interaction. Before long, I was giving my spiel to people who responded by taking a copy home with them!

The morning may have started off rocky, but it ended extremely well, leading me to believe that I was indeed in alignment with God’s will.

I sold another one-off copy during the following week and returned to the market anticipating repeating my week one sales…

But I was hit with yet another curve ball…I had people interested in my spiel, but no one felt moved to purchase a copy.

Three hours of standing at my table talking to people and not one sale!

I was totally thrown for a loop wondering, again, if I was in alignment with God’s will. I spent the morning wavering between my ego-mind and trusting that God knew what was just around the corner even though I didn’t. It was a challenging experience to say the least…more grist for the mill of burning up the ego!

My “dry spell” at the market was, then, followed up with a beautiful opportunity to share A Call to the Heart and its teachings with a group of women who came to a mini retreat that I co-facilitated the next day.

This journey was definitely starting feel like a rollercoaster…up and down and around we go!

My “dry spell” at the market proved a bit more fruitful the next week when some of the people that I’d spoken to stopped by my table and purchased a book.

You never know what the ripple effect of your interactions are going to be, which is why it’s important to remember that they may not reveal themselves in the moment that the seeds are being planted and cultivated.

If we only bank on what we see happening on the physical plane (i.e., my “dry spell” at the market), we risk missing what may be working to materialize in a future moment. We’ve got to keep this in mind as we ride the wave of experiences that walking out on faith brings.

I, then, arranged to do a talk at the local library, and to my complete surprise, I had a room full of people show up! Some came because they’d purchased my book from the market and were excited to hear me speak (super rewarding to have them there!), while others came purely based on some flyers that Lindsey and I had shared locally (super exciting to have people show up to an event that was scheduled for an hour and half simply because they read a flyer and it interested them!).

Walking out on faith is no easy task, especially when our past conditioning craves safety and security. We may feel inspired to take a leap of faith, but, many times, if we do not immediately feel some sort of confirmation that “things are working out as we’d like them to”, our reaction is to retreat.

We want doors to easily open and most of us demand that they do in order to continue to walk out on faith. But that’s not really walking out on faith. That’s tip toeing out, tapping the platform to see if it feels secure, and then putting our full weight on it.

Walking out on faith is putting the full weight of your foot down, trusting that something will be there to guide you…even if you have to experience some discomfort along the way.

It’s something that I’m still learning to do. My “dry spell” at the market was definitely an opportunity to learn and grow from. I thought I needed things to continue to open up to confirm that I was in alignment with God’s will.

The experience was uncomfortable…it stirred up my ego-mind and temporarily shook my faith in a greater plan being at work. But it was also exactly what I needed to experience to deepen my faith.

Our role is to show up as an available instrument to be used in the ways that He sees fit. It becomes about us when we need the experience to look a certain way in order to show up for the work that we’re meant to be doing. And that’s not how the work that we’re meant to be doing gets done.

Have you experienced your equivalent to a “dry spell” as you’ve walked out on faith? I’m curious, how did you handle it? Please share your thoughts and tips in the comments below…

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Each moment that we’re able to live from our soul, we leave a lasting impression of love in the wake of our presence.  Together, we can help heal the world by simply being loving.

Peace, Love & Joy,

Shanna