Last week I was helping a client understand how to set a boundary when it meant showing up differently than she ever has.

We practiced role playing to get her used to what the other person involved in the dynamic might say in response to her new way of being (i.e., saying No in a scenario she normally agreed to, but heavily resented).

The biggest way we get ourselves in trouble is when we leave an opening for the other person to change our mind or justify why we should agree to what they’re asking. 

However, when you’re in your cleanest energy (i.e., your personal power), you can say No without explaining yourself, justifying it, feeling guilty or being susceptible to the other person’s guilt or manipulation. 

As an example, someone could ask something of you and you could respond with “No, that doesn’t for me”. You don’t need to explain any further. 

If they come back with “Why not?”, you stay in your power by remaining calm and collected and respond, “Why doesn’t matter. What matters is that it doesn’t work for me.” 

If they try to adjust the request by …

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