Creating A Pristine Relationship With Your Desires
For years I’ve struggled between understanding my purpose as something I expressed outwardly, like sharing with you here, or simply doing so energetically, where what I radiated was my service.
I toggled between being fully onboard with aligning my purpose to sharing through writing, talking and coaching and retreating to a more silent, embodied expression of higher energy.
My biggest concern (and this may not be very relevant to your personal journey, but it’s what’s been going on in mine) was that I’d somehow get caught in an identity related to sharing outwardly that would plateau my inner journey, making me less effective at what I came here to contribute as my ultimate intention for this life/my purpose. (No pressure or anything).
I feared being caught in an outer identity would have me fall short of knowing myself from a direct state of wholeness.
I had two desires: inwardly radiating wholeness and outwardly expressing myself through purposeful endeavor where I believed pursuing one would be at the expense of the other.
We cannot manifest clearly or effectively when we think something “bad” is going to happen. Our fear that the manifestation will cause the “bad thing” to occur will block the manifestation from coming to fruition. I was blind to this in my own energetic dynamics.
I also believed my desire to feel fulfilled through purposeful endeavor meant I was coming from some level of lack since I thought I needed purposeful endeavor to feel whole. More on this in a bit.
My concern for being caught in an outer identity also became an unintentional scapegoat for covering my self-doubt when outer things didn’t appear to manifest according to my initial intention.
Because it left room for me to say “it didn’t workout because my true purpose is one that doesn’t involve risking getting caught in an outer identity that would inhibit me from knowing and radiating wholeness”.
So, not only did I think pursuing one desire was at the expense of the other (i.e., something “bad” would happen), I also confused desire with lack.
Because I thought my state of lack produced my desire for purposeful endeavor as a compensation for lack.
In thinking lack produced desire, I believed the wise thing to do (in order to know wholeness) must be to cease giving weight to desire.
I thought I’d heal the lack by eliminating the desire.
Never seeing that lack was there regardless of desire.
Desire simply shined a light on it.
I saw desire as an obstacle to wholeness by being a compensation for lack.
But desire is not the issue.
Lack is.
True desire is simply an energy of extension that wants to move and create in this world.
Whereas lack is some belief(s) that says this natural, innate extension is limited from coming through our particular vehicle.
Lack exists independent desire.
And desire exists independent of lack.
But most of us have conflated the two, believing there’s a correlation at play.
It’s our belief in this correlation that’s manifesting.
Our belief in lack prevents our desires from fully manifesting.
And we believe our hurt from unmet desires stems from having pursued the desire so we contract from expressing the desires of our heart in order to stay safe.
But what really occurred is the desire brought our already existent lack to the surface.
This lack played out (because we didn’t fully address it) in the form of an unmet desire.
Then we felt hurt, disappointed, frustrated, etc. and blamed our desire, instead of taking responsibility for our unaddressed belief in lack.
We experienced hurt from believing in our lack, not from having had the desire.
So it’s critical that we create a pristine relationship with our heart’s desires by clearing out any lack that’s brought to the surface.
We also have to address any “either or thinking” that includes something bad happening if one choice is chosen over the other.
(Ex: If I expand my business, my family time will suffer. Or in my case, if I pursue purposeful endeavor, I may miss my ultimate purpose of more fully radiating wholeness).
When we truly iron out this relationship, things can flow, manifest and elevate much more smoothly.
We all have various energetic dynamics at play that need to be brought to the surface and disentangled if they’re restricting our ability to manifest clearly.
They can be quite subtle, hidden in plain sight, yet playing out in the reality we’re manifesting.
Fortunately, it’s within our capacity (sometimes with the help of another) to see and change these dynamics.
The two particular takeaways I leave you with today are:
One: Ask yourself if you think something bad will happen if you pursue a particular desire. Get this into your awareness and address it.
Two: Know that any hurt you feel from unmet desires (or a belief that says the desire is not possible) is coming from beliefs in lack, not the desire itself. Keep the desire alive by addressing the lack. Do not eliminate the hurt by squashing the desire.
I’m here to help you see and shift these dynamics. If working with me speaks to you, reach out and let me know.
That’s it for today!
I hope you’ll continue to join me on this journey of truly walking out the desires of our hearts!
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
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