Choosing To Be a Light in the Midst of Negativity

Part of being on the higher path is learning to stay in a state of expansiveness (i.e., trust, love, peace, perfect forgiveness, etc.), no matter what the situation is. When we learn to do this, we’re able to bring light to any situation, whether it’s through our words, actions or our mere silence.

Prior to mastering this, we typically allow situations to dictate how we feel about them. When we do this, we become victims to our circumstances. We give away all of our inner power in our unconscious claim that the external world has pull over how we should feel and react.

A recent interaction with a negative person showed me that I was falling prey to this in my interaction with them. Instead of being a light by using my inner power to create harmony in my experience (and possibly theirs), I was adding to the negativity by inwardly reacting to their negativity.

Instead of creating peace in my inner experience, I was creating conflict by judging their negativity. And on top of that, I was contracting (shrinking) as a way of avoiding a direct backlash of their negativity…

When the group conversation ventured into territory that bashed things I personally liked, I shrunk by staying quiet as a way of avoiding being the direct recipient of the negative remarks.

Staying quiet would have been a fine response had it come from a place of peace. However, that was not the case.

After I was ready to put my frustration aside (ego likes to hang onto its “need to be right” and my ego sure thought it had a right to be mad!), I went to work on uncovering what was going on so that it could be brought to light for healing.

I noticed that my inclination to keep myself small was simply a learned defense mechanism from protecting myself from feeling the wrath of negativity in similar situations. And by “protecting myself” I mean “protecting my ego” since it’s the only thing that can be hurt.

I was unconsciously protecting my ego when I would have much rather come from a deeper place within myself that is not vulnerable to being hurt…a place that knows peace, regardless of my outer circumstances.

Dismantling our defense mechanisms is apart of opening ourselves to entering situations like these from a much more expansive state.

I also begin to have compassion (instead of judgment) for their negativity. Compassion becomes possible when we’re able to recognize an aspect of someone else’s behavior (that your ego is attempting to judge) as existing (or having existed) in yourself…

I could see that the bashing may be stemming from personal hurt and, when I really look at my own experiences, I know I’ve done the same thing, though maybe it was to a lesser degree and in another form, but there was a resonance with the pain they were experiencing, nonetheless.

I also began to see the transparency of ego with more clarity. The negativity was simply the play of ego and it need not be taken personally…peace comes from knowing this.

Peace allows others (and our self) to be exactly where we are in our journey, without placing a demand or expectation that they/we be anywhere else.

This allowance and acceptance of “what is” is critical to moving from seeing our experiences through our ego’s eyes to seeing them from a place deep within that knows the peace that passes all understanding.

In recognizing where I was out of alignment, I begin to consciously cultivate peace by choosing to see this situation differently. I used my 5 minute exercise (that’s grown to 20 minutes) to inwardly re-enter the situation from a place of peace…a place that sees the negativity as harmless.

My ego is what made the negativity appear harmful by placing a value on it through my judgment of it. And since I was in my own ego, I was vulnerable to taking it personally. True peace never had a chance with my ego running the show!

It’s the conscious cultivation of peace that changes this, though. And we accomplish this by being willing to look at what elicits a reaction from us, knowing it’s never about the other person; it’s about healing whatever is causing our reaction.

Every time we bring light to our own reactivity, we serve as the wise gardener who prepares our mind for the ultimate grace…the shift in consciousness that allows us to know the peace that passes all understanding.

Won’t you join me in consciously bringing light to you own reactivity?

To cultivating peace within,

Shanna