Self-Love Is Your Super Power
Often when we experience emotional pain, our first reaction is to blame it on a cause outside of ourself. Someone did something that we believe is blame worthy. Had they not done it, we’d feel at peace.
But this isn’t how peace works.
It’s how lack works. And a lack of peace can be directly attributed to a lack of self-love, self-acceptance or compassion towards ourself.
The thing the person said (or didn’t say) or did (or didn’t do) hurts because we believe their response to us is what can fill us up.
We’re reading meaning into our own value based on what occurs outside of us.
That’s a very emotionally precarious place to come from since everything hinges on an external response…something we have no real control over (though we may try to exert control to get the response we desire).
To compound this situation, our fear regarding whether or not the outcome lands in our favor means we’re projecting lack onto what we’re seeing. Our projected sense of lack is going to see lack where it wouldn’t otherwise be seen.
We’re giving meaning to what does or doesn’t occur and it feels like a rollercoaster where we don’t know if we’re about to go (emotionally) up or down.
Wouldn’t it be easier to just come from a place that doesn’t leave how we feel about ourself to the whimsy of the world’s response to us?
This is where self-love, self-acceptance and compassion towards ourselves comes in.
When we begin to fill ourself up through these things, we have total controlover how we feel since we’re no longer at the mercy of what occurs in our outer circumstances.
And isn’t a sense of stability what we were after anyway?
Isn’t this sense of stability why the inclination to “control our outer circumstances” arises?
Everything shifts when we see we can give ourselves that which we previously sought through another person, situation or circumstance.
It’s one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.
But even though this may intellectually make sense, applying it may feel a bit like being in an arm wrestling match between what you feel today and what you think you should feel according to the new self-love philosophy.
This occurs when we’re trying to resolve the issue of lack on the same plane it was created on.
The ego feels a sense of lack but thinks it shouldn’t feel a sense of lack and, then, it tries to battle itself through an arm wrestling match. This won’t work.
To break this cycle, begin by accepting whatever you feel today knowing acceptance is an act of self love.
There’s a saying: you cannot transform what you do not first accept. Meaning you can’t transform through resistance, judgment or denial of “what is”.
The acceptance of “what is” lays down the barriers of resistance, judgment and fear so transformation can occur.
The laying down of these barriers also energetically shifts you to a new plane so you’re no longer on the same plane from which the problem was created.
It gives space for transformation to occur by giving you the freedom to look, observe and investigate the lack based patterns, beliefs and expectations you’re placing on the outer world to know love.
It gives you freedom to allow whatever is showing up to be there without it having to mean anything negative. Your observation occurs from a neutral place, one that is curious and willing to see a new way.
It gives you space to become the witness of these fear based thoughts, patterns and expectations.
From this freedom of space, you remove the powerful charge of these thoughts, patterns and expectations by no longer identifying with them.
You recognize all they’ve given you is a story, experience and conclusion from a lack based perspective and you remove your belief from them.
For a practical application of using acceptance to begin this process, state to yourself:
Even though I’m feeling (insert the lack based thing you’re feeling, experiencing and/or are expecting from your outer circumstances), I love and accept myself.
Examples…
Even though I feel like my partner should show up in this way for me to feel secure in myself, I love and accept myself.
Even though my boss didn’t pick me for the promotion, I love and accept myself.
Even though my business failed, I love and accept myself.
Keep doing this for whatever comes up as an outside cause for how you’re feeling and see if you start to feel relief.
See if it’s gives you space between identifying strongly with the lack based thought/pattern/expectation and seeing a choice for no longer believing that’s the cause of your happiness, peace, worthiness, fulfillment, etc.
When you’re able to see that the place these lack based thoughts, patterns and expectations stem from is not your only choice regarding where you can come from in your experience, you can begin to shift your alignment from lack to a greater sense of wholeness.
You move more deeply into self-love, self-acceptance and compassion for yourself.
You let the world off the hook for how you feel and own this from within.
Your emotions become stabilized in inner peace and you no longer feel at the mercy of the outer happenings in your world.
As a beautiful by-product, the world begins to respond differently to you.
Not because you need it to but because it was always simply responding to where you were coming from.
When things felt chaotic and like an emotional rollercoaster, it’s because you were relying on knowing love from a place of lack.
Your precarious emotional position observed a precarious world.
Your stabilized emotional position observes a more stabilized world.
The choice is yours to make.
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
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