It’s Safe to Feel Unsafe
We each have patterns in us we over identify with or lean on to feel safe.
Unfortunately, these patterns often stem from not inwardly feeling safe or whole so we’re unknowingly relying on compulsive, dysfunctional and distorted patterns to create a false sense of safety.
These patterns are always based in some form of fear that expresses through things like control…
If you can control your outer circumstances through dominating others or a situation, you believe it’ll keep you safe.
Or by making yourself small as to not be a problem for another…
If you can control yourself as the one variable to keep the peace in a situation by walking on eggshells or being the peacemaker or people pleaser, you’ll continue to feel safe by not creating confrontation, disapproval or rejection.
These patterns show up in numerous ways, depending on our disposition, temperament and personality.
But they all point towards creating a sense of safety for ourself in our outer world when we’re not able to come from it directly.
This sense of safety is always based on a shaky foundation. We know this because safety is not felt when these patterns are not giving us the outer experience we seek to feel safe.
Therefore these patterns can never lead to a true, unshakable sense of safety (peace or wholeness, unconditional love, etc.).
And if they can’t lead to that which we truly seek, shouldn’t we look for another way to know safety?
This is where an inner journey of healing begins.
We see that that which we have relied on to feel safe hasn’t been working in a sustainable way by noticing every time the pattern is broken through some variable in our outer circumstances, our sense of safety is threatened.
Through this recognition, we realize we need to look for a new way to know safety, peace, wholeness, unconditional love, etc.
We recognize the distorted patterns and desire to heal them.
It starts by owning we’re personally in control of and responsible for our own inner sense of safety…which means we can no longer blame circumstances or others for why we don’t feel safe, secure, loved or at peace.
This can feel frustrating at first, because it requires so much personal responsibility when the pull to blame another or our outer circumstances is still strongly in us (self-righteousness can be our achilles heal when it comes to knowing inner peace).
It can also feel scary if the healing process is triggered by the loss of something you previously relied on to know your sense of safety (i.e., feedback loops through relationships and outer circumstances).
The removal of any feedback loop or “structure” we previously relied on to feel safe can feel like the rug is being pulled out from under us.
We feel unstable and want to grip and grasp for safety through our default, dysfunctional patterns.
But this is an opportunity to begin knowing safety in a new manner, one that doesn’t require external things to be arranged a certain way.
This work is, ultimately, the most empowering thing you can do for yourself.
You’re rebuilding how you know yourself from the ground up, where you create a “right relationship” with yourself, others and your outer circumstances…a relationship that stems from already feeling safe and whole from within.
You reclaim your power by releasing yourself from the old patterns you relied on to know this sense of safety.
This is also how you reclaim your free will. You heal your unconscious inclinations. Otherwise you’re at their mercy.
The freer you are from your unconscious patterns, the freer you are to direct your energy. Both go hand in hand.
Healing unconscious patterns starts by being willing illuminate and face them.
Most people are scared to face the parts of themselves they do not like (and their pain) because they feel it can hurt them by revealing some sort of permanent truth that says they’re unworthy or unlovable (things that never lead to an inner sense of safety).
This can NEVER be an ultimate truth.
But the belief that it can be is what creates all compensating patterns.
You can begin this process with this affirmation: It’s safe to feel unsafe.
It sounds counter-intuitive, but it actually frees you to face your sense of not feeling safe.
It calms the fear around not wanting to face the uncomfortable feeling so you can begin observing your patterns.
Repeat until you feel safe and calm.
Once you get yourself in a place of strength, knowing whatever is revealed is a painful thought in need of healing—that can NEVER ultimately be true —you’ll be able to bring these patterns into light so they can be healed.
Until you see the benefit that healing offers, these patterns remain in you running a large part of the show (restricting the free will, peace, love and light that’s available to you).
If you have a small willingness, but still feel an overwhelming amount of fear, pray for the necessary courage to begin the process.
With that small openness, courage will come. And transformation will begin or continue.
This is such important work. Hard and scary, especially in the beginning, but important.
And it’s the most freeing thing you’ll ever do for yourself.
It’s a gift you give yourself and the world because as you heal, the collective heals.
On a macro level, the world is collectively experiencing a lot of fear, so you healing on an individual, micro level can powerfully offset the current level of fear that pulsing through the collective.
I recently heard that one person vibrating higher frequencies of love, equanimity, etc. can offset 750,000 people vibrating at lower levels of fear! The upside, both individually and collectively, is huge!
I offer one-on-one coaching to assist with this. Email me at shannacovey@gmail.com, if this speaks to you.
Always Shine Brightly,
Shanna
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