Understanding + Handling Anger
Many times when we begin a spiritual journey (or even if we’ve been committed to one for awhile), we feel moved by beautiful messages of peace, love and oneness. In those moments, we feel ready to take on the world with this deeper peace that we’ve momentarily accessed within ourselves.
But then we leave our sacred space and enter a circumstance that triggers us. Maybe it’s an existing frustration with a particular person or maybe it’s a traffic jam; whatever it is, the brief connection to peace is lost.
Where did it go? How have we lost sight of it so easily? How can we access that space in the midst of anger or frustration? Better yet, how can we live in that space of peace, such that anger and frustration no longer hit our radar?
In those brief moments where we’ve accessed a deeper level of peace, we temporarily by-passed our reactive self (or ego)…something that’s not too difficult to do when we’re in our sacred space, since we’re invoking a higher-energy through our particular devotion.
This higher-energy acts as a “snake-charmer”, if you will. It calms the reactive mind (ego) by saturating your entire field of energy with the divine love that you’re invoking through your prayer, chant, meditation, or daily spiritual reading.
Depending on the extent to which your reactive mind (ego) can be saturated with divine energy, this state may extend fully into the rest of your day, mitigating your normal ego triggers or the “spell” may be broken as soon as you encounter a trigger.
However, divine saturation, coupled with direct self-inquiry into the inner workings of the reactive mind (ego), can move you to a state of consciousness that no longer involves the reactive self…one that allows you to experience deep, inner-peace in a permanent capacity.
This is the state at which the reactive self (ego) is fully subjugated to your higher, non-reactive self and it is the goal of all spiritual endeavor.
If you’ve been with me for awhile, you know that diving into the inner workings of ego, or the reactive mind, is the primary focus of my body of work. My intention is to bring to light all motivations of ego so that our reactive mind can be seen clearly and in its entirety and, then, fully dropped from our awareness so that our non-reactive, higher-mind has a place to flourish. This is the only way that deep lasting inner-peace can be known.
So let’s start with understanding anger…
Anger is only a function of the reactive self (ego). It is not a part of the non-reactive, higher-self, which means the goal of our inner journey is to transform the contents of our consciousness from that of our reactive self (ego) to our non-reactive, higher self.
Where any trace of ego-based consciousness composes the contents of our consciousness, anger (or any other emotion of ego) can still take root. A full transformation of consciousness must occur to be fully rooted in our higher, non-reactive self.
Reforming the contents of our consciousness will not take us to the stage that leads to lasting, inner peace (though it can provide temporary peace); only fully transforming the contents of our consciousness will. This is because a reform only occurs within the limits of the reactive mind (ego).
As an example, if you go from being consumed with negative thoughts to retraining your mind to think positive thoughts, this is a good thing to do, but just know that it’s still limited to making changes within the personal reactive mind versus going beyond it to the non-reactive self.
Though this process may be necessary to your inner development, it will not take you to the end game, where lasting, inner peace lies. The reason being that happiness and peace are still form-dependent…you’re happy when you’re positive thoughts lead to a positive outcome and you’re mad when they don’t. That’s still a reactive state.
Lasting inner peace is something that is much deeper than happiness and is never dependent on form. Events and circumstances that are judged as “bad” by the world do not affect the peace of someone who operates from the consciousness of their higher, non-reactive self.
The reactive self (ego) is kept in place through two main components: personal attachment and personal desire, whereas the non-reactive, higher-self stems from a selfless state of unconditional love (this divine potential lies in ALL of us).
Anger (as well as any other emotion of ego) occurs through a reaction to some perceived fear surrounding a particular personal attachment to someone or something or a personal desire for an event, circumstance or person to be other than it is.
If we’re able to remove the pins that keep these two things in place, the reactive self would fall away. However, fear is too strong for most of us to allow that to happen, in an instant of realization. Instead, it takes a lot of “small wins” in favor of the non-reactive, higher-self for this full realization to occur. That’s why it’s so important for us to commit to our inner work.
Most of us get frustrated and angry with someone or something when it is different than we, as our ego, want it to be. For ego to sustain itself, this frustration or anger must occur, since there must be a reaction for ego to perpetuate itself in our awareness.
However, if we let go of the demand or expectation for someone or something to be different than it is, there would be no personal reaction. There would be full acceptance of whatever has taken place. And because of this full acceptance, whatever emerges as a response (not a reaction) to the person or situation is based in right-action.
The response may be to fiercely stop the expression of one’s ego by shining a light on it. This is done with full attunement to what is right for the totality of the situation, which is beyond what the ego justifies as right for itself (and it requires a lot of inner work to fully come upon this state).
If there is any trace of ego consciousness in the contents of our consciousness, there’s a margin for the reaction to be based in ego and we risk acting out of anger, instead of fierceness. If you want to fully align with right-action, you must vigilantly commit to uprooting ego consciousness from the contents of your consciousness (the more of us who commit to this, the more peace that can be known).
A few tools to help foster this transformation of consciousness…
One of the most useful lines from A Course in Miracles for me has been this short phrase:
Those who see themselves as whole make no demands.
This acts as my constant reminder to help make me aware of when I’m aligned with ego-consciousness by placing demands and expectations on others. In bringing light to where and how I’m doing that, I can begin to direct my inner work and self-healing to those specific areas.
Prayer is also a wonderful tool, since it serves to saturate our reactive mind with divine energy and reveals the necessary spiritual “aha” to see through ego’s motives (be sure to ask for the spiritual “aha” so it can be shown to you!).
The actual “seeing” of the inner workings of ego creates a transformation in the contents of your consciousness (versus a temporary dormancy of ego). When this “seeing” occurs, a chunk of ego-based consciousness is removed from the contents of your consciousness and space is made for an aspect of your divine self to be actualized in your awareness. This is HUGE!
Your divine self always exists as your true nature, but it isn’t until it’s brought into your conscious awareness that you know this through direct recognition. Each win in favor of your higher, non-reactive self serves to bring about this recognition!
If the “seeing” does not fully occur, the transformation will not occur. You will still experience peace, but it will be temporary. Not to worry, because the next time anger arises, you’ll have another chance to “see” the inner workings of ego, such that a full transformation occurs.
This is a process, so it takes time and effort. My goal with today’s blog was to show you that lasting inner peace is possible as a way of encouraging and inspiring you to commit to utilizing the examination of your everyday experiences as a pathway to realizing this goal.
Your everyday experiences serve as the perfect fodder for this type of growth. Just choose to start seeing them as opportunities to activate your divine self, instead of as reasons to perpetuate frustration and anger. And if you need help, consider booking a coaching session with me. It would be my honor to help you create a momentum of small wins in favor of your higher, non-reactive self.
I know that I used a lot of new terminology in this blog. My purpose in doing so was to come upon truth from a new angle, something that has been extremely helpful in my own journey.
Though, when I was first introduced to this approach, I sometimes resisted the new angle, since my mind was attached to my original understanding + terminology. In the end, the new angle always helped me break through the limitations of my previous understanding.
So I’m curious, as to what happened in your experience…
Did resistance come up?
Did it create confusion that warrants more discussion?
Did you have a breakthrough?
Please share your experience in the comments below or personally contact me here.
I’m here to help, so your feedback is critical to showing me where I can expand on things that warrant more discussion.
As always, if you know of others who could benefit from this post, please share it using the social media sharing buttons below!
To realizing our divine potential!
Shanna
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