Self-Deception

If we are deceived about ourselves, our ability to help others is limited.  When we agree to our self-deceptions, our perception of the world remains a series of convoluted illusions, each attempting to project truth.  The goal any spiritual awakening, then, is to bring these self-deceptions to light.  We have to be willing to shine a light on our own unconsciousness in order to dispel the illusions that they project.  Why?  Because, the more that we are able to do this, the better positioned we are to be an instrument of peace, love, and joy…

Knowing that we can be deceived about ourselves is the first step in shedding some light on these illusions (moving from denial to admitting that a possible discrepancy exists!).  If we cannot acknowledge that these deceptions exist, we remain bound to them.  Fortunately, the more we empty ourselves of them, the better we can reflect light (truth).  For me, this journey is about performing the necessary emotional surgery to uncover and dispel these deceptions.  [As an aside, I’ve been told that the use of the term “emotional surgery” can be frightening or at least, daunting.  I must be crazy in love with this journey, because to me it is exciting to break through illusions and unveil the truths that lie within each of us!  It is my goal and hope that these blogs and other influences inspire you to become crazy in love with this process, too!]

We have to be willing to look within and that requires taking personal responsibility for all thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors of our personal egos.  Not always fun!  That’s why I refer to it as emotional surgery.  If we are not willing to look at our ego and take personal responsibility for it, we can never grow beyond it.  If we do not grow beyond it, we cannot serve in our highest capacity, which, to me, is being an instrument of spirit.

Self-deception can take many forms, all of which fall into two categories.  We are either deceived by believing that we are the ego aspects of ourselves that we identify with or we are blind to the ego aspect of ourselves that we are unwilling to acknowledge.  In either scenario, both act as driving forces in our awareness.  Until we are able to clean up these illusions in our awareness, we will continue to perceive ourselves and others through them.

If we see ourselves as “special” and feel that it justifies what we desire or what we are doing (which was the case with my ego desiring to be published…see blogs on Necessary Heartbreak and Cutting Away From The Herd), we will be unwilling to look at specialness as a factor of ego.  The idea of specialness is a by-product of ego, since by definition to be special we must be separate from others.  For many, myself included, specialness is not easy to let go of.  Who am I if I’m not special?  Oh yes, ego, loves to cling to the idea of specialness.  I still struggle with it, but I know that I’m deceived when I believe that I’m special.  So, what’s the opposite of specialness?  Humility.  We are instruments to be used however He sees fit for the greater good of all concerned.  Any perceived specialness is not really of us as our ego would claim; it is the Devine working through us.  The best we can do is to honor these gifts and experiences through humility versus making them available for ego to establish its own value of specialness.

Identifying with specialness further complicates how we see ourselves and others.  Instead of connecting to the oneness that we share, we only tend to see the fragmented differences that the varying degrees of specialness create.  How can we see the light in someone else if we perceive their light as a threat to our own specialness?  How can we acknowledge the light in others if we feel that we are somehow special for having that light within our self?  We have to recognize that that light exists in all of us, whether someone is allowing theirs to shine or not.  When we are no longer deceived by our own specialness, we can serve as an instrument to bring about this light in both our self and others.  This light is what eternally binds us to God and one another.  It is our truth.  Self-deception only serves to block this truth from our conscious awareness.

In order to begin looking at the ego aspects of ourselves that we are blind to, we have to be willing to accept that they exist.  We also have to be willing to take personal responsibility for that part of our nature.  It is the only way to bring that side of ourselves to light.  For example, if we fear being perceived as incompetent and thus believe that we should always appear to have it together, ego’s response is to conceal incompetence by blaming others in the event that something goes wrong.  This response is fear-based, which is always of ego, and is the exact opposite of taking personal responsibility.  If this behavior is not brought to light, ego will continue to react this way whenever it feels threatened.  In the short-run, allowing ego to respond this way seems ideal because it serves to protect our self-image.  The problem is that we are preserving a self-image based in self-deception.  If we allow this cycle to persist, relationships will suffer through the endless pattern of blaming others versus taking personal responsibility for those actions.  The only way to break this pattern is to consider that it exists and then work to bring it to light.  We have to perform the required emotional surgery.

In disidentifying with our ego, we can begin to see it as an impersonal entity.  By doing so, we open ourselves to acknowledging it in our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors, such that we can take personal responsibility for it without feeling guilty for having said, done, or thought those things.  Seeing ego as an impersonal entity that exists outside of our truth allows us to face it head on, such that we can dissolve the illusions that it projects.

This journey is about becoming aware of all aspects of ego, such that we mitigate its ability to influence our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.  When we are no longer deceived by our egos, we arrive at truth.  We reach our highest capacity for being an instrument of peace, love, and joy.  Even if we don’t completely shed our ego (few do), each layer removed widens the capacity for us to be an instrument.

As always, the journey continues….

Much love to all,

Shanna

Please feel free to share the blogs with others…I want to help others become crazy in love with this process!

To stay tuned in to what I’m sharing, you can subscribe to my blog by going to the top right hand corner of this page, entering your email address in the space provided, and clicking the “follow” button.

You can also follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/acalltotheheart.