I didn’t see this coming!
Have you ever been caught in a moment where you wanted to say no to someone, but struggled to do so for fear of hurting their feelings?
I was caught in a moment like this a few months ago…
I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop having a conversation with another customer who’d come up to talk to me. My new friend and I were talking about what we liked to do for fun and I mentioned a few things, one of which was going to the movies.
When I got up to leave he suggested that we make plans to see one of the movies that he had mentioned. I thought to myself “that movie is old so I know it’s not at the theater”, which got me a little concerned, wondering where this was going…
I finally asked where this movie was playing and he said “any t.v. we choose.” Oh crap, he not only wants to meet outside of the coffee shop (something I’m not really comfortable with), he wants to meet at one of our houses! Is he asking me out?!? Oh crap, I think …
KEEP READINGThe advice that I first thought sucked…but it was dead on!
During my aggressive search for purpose (a.k.a. my search to live a more exciting life) I stumbled upon the answer way before I was ready to hear it. So what did I do…
I balked at it!
Yep, I scoffed, and thought, “No, that doesn’t sound exciting” and off I went again…searching and searching…until I circled back to this same advice. Pretty crazy, huh?
I kid you not, when I first heard Wayne Dyer (super awesome contemporary spiritual teacher) share his perspective on how to find your purpose, I balked!
His set-up for delivering this message was great, too. Here I was, someone who was just drooling at the idea of knowing my purpose and he pops the question: “Do you want to find your purpose?”
“Hell yeah”, I responded! (I was driving in my car, listening to an audio cd, so I probably said that mentally).
“Put yourself in service to others,” he replied.
And then I sunk back into my seat, deflated.
That just did not sound exciting to me. I was looking to escape boredom through the creation of a “big” life and service sounded “small”.
So …
Healing the Broken
When I look back on my journey I am amazed at the inner transformation that has taken place. Prior to reading A Course in Miracles, I saw the world through a prism of separation. I was isolated in myself, disconnected from the oneness that we all share. I was also extremely identified with the physical world, and though I sought to connect to the subtle world, I was blocked.
When I was growing up, I unconsciously guarded myself against situations that called for compassion. I felt safe (and separated) in the cocoon of love that I felt and experienced through my rock solid relationships with family and friends. Suffering scared me. And fortunately, because I grew up in the western world, physical suffering wasn’t readily prevalent. Emotion suffering was, though. I grew up in what I considered a very functional home environment so when I learned of those who did not, instead of reaching for compassion, I sought safety through separation. I bounced off their energy field, never venturing to enter it. I was scared of those who my ego deemed “emotionally damaged”. Instead of seeing opportunities for healing in …
Investing In Other People’s Journeys
Sometimes we fall into the trap of investing in other people’s journeys through the expectations and desires that we have for them. This can happen when a parent strongly desires that their children take a certain route in life or when a spouse invests in how they believe their significant other should think and behave. In my case, I have a tendency to invest in my friends’ journeys.
This is simply another trap set by ego. We think by investing in the outcome of their journey (by trying to control the choices that they make along the way) that we are helping them. Each time they make a choice outside of what we would have them make, we think we are “saving” them by attempting to intervene. But if we are intervening from ego (as opposed to spirit), we are doing more damage than good. Ego acts through an energy of control; whereas spirit acts through an energy of acceptance through love.
We are also under ego’s trap that our inner peace depends on them making the choices that we desire for them. We would no longer feel frustrated if …
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